Balance

One of the most consistent themes throughout my time in grad school has been balance. The professors understand the strain and toll that full time ministry work, particularly counseling work, has on the care giver and instill a sense of urgency to find balance in order to avoid burnout. How do you balance different roles and responsibilities? And what does that actually look like?

Matthew 6:33 tells us what goes first, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." This is the foundation. The stabilizing force. When this is not the top priority, then nothing else will fall into place and life begins to unravel.

One way we can focus on God's kingdom first is by following his instructions. "To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God" (Micah 6:8b). Jesus tells us to love God with all that we are and to love our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-39). But what comes next?

If we look at the book of Genesis, it tells us that the first command that God gives mankind is to be fruitful and multiply, and to subdue the earth (1:28). This means that your spouse, your marriage, is the next area of focus. As a team, the couple is called to bear fruit and to have dominion. Jesus told the Pharisees to go back and read the Scriptures, "“Haven’t you read,” he replied,“ that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matthew 19:4-6). Marriage is a God given institution that takes priority over all other human relationships.

Malachi 2:15, tells us that God wants godly offspring. Proverbs 22:6 states that by training up a child in the way they should go will be beneficial for their lives. Israel is commanded by the law of Moses to do the following: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates" (Duet. 6:5-9). This establishes that children are the next in the priority list, but not just having them, teaching and training them to follow the Lord and to live by example a life of godliness.

Jesus's final command, known as the great commission gives us the last element in a life of balance. "Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you" (Matt 28:18-20). Sharing the Good News, the gospel message, is vital to a balanced life. Not all of us are called into full time ministry, but we can share from where we are. Maybe this is encouraging a mom friend who is struggling with young children, or maybe it is praying for a co-worker who just received a cancer diagnosis. It is looking at this hurting world with the eyes of Christ, full of love and compassion, and living out the fruits of the spirit (Gal. 5:22-23) that real change will happen. It is the daily grind of providing not just financially, but bearing fruit in all seasons, under all circumstances, that shows we are Children of God.

This is what a hurting world needs the most. Followers of Christ that have the correct understanding of balance and calling, of ministry and serving, and focusing on relating to others in the God ordained order: First the Kingdom, Second the Spouse, Third the Children and then to the ends of the world.

As a note for the single, Paul says this is all the better! You do not have divided interests and can focus more on the work of the Kingdom. Both Jesus and Paul were unmarried and were able to do great things for God. It is a sacred calling to remain single and your ability to train, teach, and disciple spiritual children is a beautiful thing!