Scapegoat

In the Bible times, on the Day of Atonement, the Israelites would put all the sin and wickedness on a goat and then release it into the wilderness (See Leviticus 16). The goat did nothing wrong, was actually blameless and innocent in the whole matter, but the wrongdoing and and the evil committed by others were put upon its head.

This is now a modern term in psychology to explain why in dysfunctional families, one person becomes the scapegoat for the entire group. This casting blame on an innocent victim, then allows the dysfunctional family to continue on, and live as "good people" because they removed the bad individual and will continue to cast all blame and responsibility for their own bad deeds and poor choices on the scapegoat. The family then lives in denial and avoids all negative feelings towards themselves, also known as reducing the cognitive dissonace.

Often times the shame and guilt are heaped on a child and they endure the manipulation in order to please the parents. Siblings soon follow course and start blaming their poor actions and misdeeds on the scapegoat. In adulthood, the scapegoat is finally given the chance for freedom but many do not choose to take it. They are cast out of the family and if they are wise, will not return. This allows them to go on and live a normal and mentally healthy life, free from dysfunction and no longer controlled by the shame, guilt, and manipulation that the family offers.

The scapegoat is often chosen in a family because of their strengths.

If you find yourself continually blamed for other people's wrong doings, particularly family members, please seek help and get counseling. Ask God to search your heart and reveal to you truth. It is possible to overcome this type of psychological abuse and separate yourself enough from the people inflicting harm to you so that you can see that you are not the crazy one, they are. I cannot urge you enough, please get counseling!

I am quite personally aware of the battle of being the survivor of this type of abuse. I am a recovered and redeemed scapegoat. I know what it is like to be rejected, blamed, and live under the shame and guilt of manipulation. I also know what it is like to be set free. I have been free for years and it has been the best thing for me. I can easily see the schemes that the enemy used to try to make me doubt my strength and ability. I see the subtle twists in the truth for what they are, lies. And I am surrounded by people that have my best interest at heart. They tell me when I am off course, and they also remind me that I am not who others say I am, I am a child of God and he doesn't use guilt or shame to control his children.

I am strangely thankful for this experience. I think I would have remained in a fog of smoke for many, many, more years if I was not forced to make a choice for my mental well being and the safety of my own family-my husband and children. I have no ill-will towards my abusers but I am not who I once was. I have been set free, restored, and no longer under their control. I actually rarely think about them, because they are part of my past, but not my future.

The Hebrews 12 speaks of running a race, leaving everything that hinders us behind. I have discovered, that it is often people that need to be left behind. People that doubt you, make you feel inferior, unworthy, or incapable of the tasks God has set before you. My hands are open, things flow easily in and out. I live life in a river of flowing blessings, things come and they go, but I continue to push forward, leaving all else behind. I forgive and leave it in Jesus' capable hands to sort out.

It is the only way to run this race I have been assigned. I am no longer a scapegoat, my mission is to help others find Jesus in the wilderness.